This Christmas: A Spiritual Blessing.

I have to admit, I've been terrible at remembering to be in the word lately! I haven't made it a top priority. (Why is it so hard to confess that!) I used to wake up, turn on the coffee pot, and head straight for my bible, pen, and journal. Lately, I've been so eager to hear about what's going on in the world, with Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts (little shout out to a.m. ABC news), that I've neglected hearing from God through His scriptures. The ironic thing, is that even though my I've failed to do my reading some days, or pushed it further down the list of daily "tasks," is that I speak with God more throughout the day than I ever have. It's really awesome to see the difference in my mind and heart-which works to shape my attitude, when I pray to the Lord more throughout the day, just thanking Him for miscellaneous things, even if I don't necessarily feel gratitude for those things at the moment. The act of praying for or about something, shifts my attitude to become more focused on God and others, and less on MEEEE, me, me. That's something I've been working on with myself lately- "cognitive-restructuring," or "reorganization" of my thought processes (to put it in therapy terms). :)

The thing is...I was almost brought to tears when I read this verse this morning:

"[God]...who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him..." (Ephesians 1:3-4).

I can choose a million other things, day after day- before I choose true quality time with the Lord. No matter what I put before Him, no matter how many times I may choose another-

He still desires to pour out His spiritual blessings upon me. That's what makes this Christmas sentimental to me personally. I'm thankful for God's spiritual blessings, the fact that He sent a precious and righteous king to us...No matter what American Culture says Christmas is about. ;)

Happy Christmas, friends!!!

One of many MERCIES.

"Your Father loves you as you are, not as you should be. He loves you beyond fidelity and infidelity, beyond worthiness and unworthiness. He loves you in the morning sun and the evening rain. He loves you equally in your state of grace and your state of disgrace. He loves you without caution, regret, boundary, limit, breaking point. No matter what happens, or what you do...He will not stop loving you."

-B. Manning

The Wandering Type.

You know...

This is one of those weird times where blogging was not arranged to be a part of my agenda. (Although it never really is).

I was actually just sitting here... Doing homework... Preparing for finals... Focusing wonderfully, actually!

And then, I was suddenly interrupted with this eccentric thought: I really am a person that is prone to wandering. (Like the song says). BUT...That's not the eccentric part. Here's the peculiar part, and completion of that thought: There is a bottle of wine in my kitchen, and I could get hammered drunk all by myself right now if I really wanted to. (I'm serious, I pondered this). And no one would ever know about it!!!

So THAT got me thinking...Would I do that? Well...Sure, why not? I've done it before. My first year or so attempting to live a life that confessed a love for Christ, was FULL of me falling flat on my face. It took people laughing in my face, really... at hearing my outlandish claims for "change," and "repentance," when I could only show evidence of that being true for such a short time. I really had to be disgusted with my sin, (my indulgence) a number of times, in order for me to truly find the remedy for it.

The bottom line is... I'm prodigal, prone to abandoning what I really know to be true, and right, and perfect. That will never change, not until the day I die in the body I now reside in. I will always be prone to sin. Somewhere down the road, that bottle of wine is going to whisper sweet nothings into my ear again. Or, I'll be tempted to slander someone who pissed me off. I might even get a little road rage at the 2010 Z28 that tries to clip me on the 91 freeway. (Impulsivity is my sin, really). I've finally realized there's not a whole lot I can do to avoid sin, and the desire to engage in it. But I CAN...

-Become more aware of the boundless love of my Savior. (Which makes sin look terribly unsatisfying, a quick-fix of what one truly needs).

-Flee from those tempting thoughts & desires by pursuing His heart, His attributes.

There's truly nothing I can do to make Him reverse what He did for me, to "take back" his act of love, or to decide I'm no longer worthy of His adoration. When it comes down to it, I'm really not worthy of it. No one is. The entire human race is faulty. But He still finds something within us so precious, that He gave up the most precious thing He could offer...

I am so glad I got off-track tonight. I needed this entire influx of thoughts to remind me how beautiful my God is.

I pray that you come to the same point of renewal, friends.

Reasons why I am BLESSED!!!

I am currently doing homework, (neglecting it, rather) and all I can do is think about all the reasons why I am extremely grateful to the Lord for the blessings in my life.

(Trust me, I spend lots of time being ungrateful too, so I decided to write this to remind myself next time I get that nasty attitude).

Blessings...

1. I have a new life in Christ!!! I am about three years old. ;)

2. I have seen a lot of restoration in my family. We have been through so much, & have really grown in learning how to love each other.

3. I am in the most wonderfully designed MFT graduate program, a perfect fit for me, really!

4. I have some really great girlfriends that I know I will be friends with through ugly times, pregnant times, aging times, and middle of the night times.

5. I have a new apartment, with a legit roommate! And we have received many free and fresh items of furniture. ;)

6. I got a job. I work with really cute kids. And some of them...Well, they need extra love-yes, that's how Ill put it.

7. I have seen other nations, and experienced God's heart for them.

8. I am not rolling in the dirty dough, but I can certainly pay the bills and feed my ever-so-greedy tummy!

9. I have a very sweet, & wise generation ahead of me--Grandma Norma and Grandpa Hal. :)

(Actually, 2 generations ahead).

10. I am loved, by the one who loves perfectly...

IT FEELS GREAT TO BE ME!!!